


five times love was at emile's fingertips (and one time he actually grasped it)

by awyrmofmyword



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cosplay, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Lots of blushing, M/M, Multi, SO MUCH FLUFF, Shenanigans, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and terrible at confessing his Emotion, emile is a good therapist, fellas is it gay to be queer and in love with other men, guys i hope you're prepared for some Gay, like one or two implications of sauce but this is completely sfw, married remile!!, polycule lamp + remy, remy being a meddly meddler, shoutout to the discord server i wrote this in...... I Love You All, tell me if i should tag anything!, useless gay emile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21566257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awyrmofmyword/pseuds/awyrmofmyword
Summary: Emile has a husband who he loves very much, so his crushes don't need to be a big deal. His husband Remy, however, boyfriend to two of Emile's crushes, disagrees and makes it his goal to get his husband to confess to Remy's boyfriends. And his boyfriends' boyfriends...Shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dr. Emile Picani, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Deceit/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton/Emile Picani, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Deceit/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton/Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton/Deceit Sanders, Background Deceit Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders - Relationship, Background Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dr. Emile Picani, Dr. Emile Picani/Deceit Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Dr. Emile Picani, Morality | Patton Sanders/Dr. Emile Picani
Comments: 54
Kudos: 234





	five times love was at emile's fingertips (and one time he actually grasped it)

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this upon realizing that there is a startling lack of Emile ship content that involves the sides as well or instead of Remy, especially compared to how often Remy is paired with the sides. I hope you like it!  
> Many thanks to the people on the Discord server run by centreoftheselights, especially Amelia, Dani, Lulu, Roses, Sage, Lo, Ada, Indigo, Helena, and Jack, without whom this fic would have remained only a thought in my head, and who provided feedback and reactions as I wrote, and to my betas Dani, Lisa, and Squid, who helped me work out some of the funkier wording into what you see now.

1

"You know, babes, you can't keep forgetting your lunch at home in order to get me to come over. I have work too, honeybun."

Emile giggles. "Aw, was I as obvious as the answers Dora asks for are?"

"You insist on kissing me every time I've brought your lunch in for the past two weeks," Remy sighs through the receiver, but it's fond. "So yes, you were."

"It was worth the try," Emile replies, grinning ear to ear. 

Remy worked as the manager of _The Blackest Brew,_ a coffee shop known for its strong coffee and patrons who were queer in often more ways than one. The whole place was themed after the stories of creatures who lurked in the dark, and the workers had fun dressing up as different mythical beings every day, with Remy keeping his persona as head witch of the house. And all the coffees were named things one would expect potions to be named! Emile had met his husband there, having heard something through a coworker about a Harry Potter event. Remy had been dressed as McGonagall that day, severe and clever as the lady herself...

"Emmie? Earth to Emile, are you listening to me?"

Remy's voice breaks through the train of thought, and Emile laughs sheepishly. "Sorry sweetheart, I zoned out there. What was it you were saying?"

"I was saying I'm sending Virgil over to bring you your lunch instead, cause I can't keep leaving work to do this," Remy hums. "He's not as cute as me, but I know you like him- like Hiccup likes Astrid, might I add - so I'm hoping that makes up for it."

Emile reddens. "Remy!!"

"Emmie!!" Remy fires back teasingly. "He's on his way now, sweetie. You can give him my kiss, alright?"

"Remy, you know that I can't just do that!!" Emile squawks. "He's got boyfriends!!"

"And I am the boyfriend of two of them! You and I both know they're an open polycule, babe," Remy counters. "Take initiative, doll! I bet he'd love one of your edgier-character-based stim toys, yeah? Ask him out!"

Emile starts to protest, but Remy tuts. "I gotta get back to work, sweetie. Ily~"

And then he hangs up.

... Emile is going to die.

He sits back in his chair, rubbing his eyes and running through a breathing exercise, twisting his tie between his fingers and trying to focus on the nice, rough feeling. After a minute, he manages to relax in his chair and looks back up.

Virgil was coming to his office to bring him lunch. Beautiful, attractive, ripped-black-jeans, perfectly-imperfect-makeup and lipstick-black-as-night Virgil. Fifteen-piercings-and-counting Virgil, tattoos-down-his-torso-according-to-Remy Virgil.

... His office should be cleaned. It looks _fine_ but fine isn't enough when it comes to a crush, oh _bother!_ He stands and quickly arranges his desk so it's perfectly neat, and then rearranges it one more time just in case, before moving on to his stuffie collection. Largest to smallest, or smallest to largest? He can't decide...

"Knock knock," comes the low, husky voice of the dark angel who's stolen a piece of Emile's heart, and Emile jumps and lets out a little shriek, dropping the teddy bear he held in his hands to the floor and whipping around to face the man himself.

"D-do you how do, Virge?" he manages.

Virgil looks mildly amused, leaning against the door with his jacket slipping off his shoulders and exposing the black tank top underneath clinging to his lanky form. He holds Emile's lunch in his hand - a Power Rangers lunchbox today - and is worrying the corner with a chipped black fingernail. His eyeshadow today is a lovely lilac that perfectly compliments his dark skin and black eyes, and his spider necklace matches that...

"You good there, Em?" the taller asks, and Emile snaps his jaw shut, straightening to his full height.

"Yeah!!" he says, a little too loudly, and winces. "Uh, I mean- well!"

 _Just like Marinette when Adrien even_ looks _at her, curses!_ he wails internally. Virgil chuckles quietly.

"Sorry, bud. I did kinda sneak up on you there... Is your teddy okay?"

Emile flushes and picks the bear back up. "I- yeah, she's fine."

"That's good," Virgil hums, stepping in. "I'd hate to cause trouble for you."

_The only trouble you're causing is to my heart…_

"Here's your lunch," he offers, and Emile sets the bear down to accept it, flushing even more as their fingers brush. "Anyone coming in soon?"

"Ah, no," Emile stammers. "Wanna hang out for a bit?"

"I would, but Logan'll have my hide if I don't go back home right away," Virgil sighs. "Patton's under the weather and Logan’s home on break, so I gotta go home right away so he isn't alone while sick, cause Logan is gonna lose it if he's late to work. Last time we left Patton home alone sick, he tried to do all the chores and passed out..."

"Oh dear!!" Emile gasps. "Well- thank you for bringing me lunch, then, and hurry on back, alright? Uh- you can give him this!"

He offers Virgil the bear, and Virgil takes her carefully.

"Her name is Rose," Emile says. "I know I always feel better when cuddling with a stuffie, so hopefully she helps Patton."

"Thank you, Emile," Virgil replies softly. "I know your stuffed animals mean a lot to you, so I'll make sure she's washed and back to you safely after Patton gets better."

Emile blushes even more. "You can keep her for as long as you need, Virge. And, uh- take one of the stim cubes from the bowl, as a thank you for bringing me my lunch."

Virgil looks through them and chooses the black cat cube and gives Emile a smile that just melts the man's heart.

"You're a real good guy, Em," he says. "Have a good day, alright?"

He exits, and Emile reaches up to touch his flaming cheeks.

"Alright..." he whispers.

(Remy was never gonna let him hear the end of this.)

. . .

2

"I still don't get how you were so insistent on us dressing as Marshal Lee and Prince Bubblegum and then forgot to dress as Bubblegum, Rem," Emile says, half teasing and half confused, as he and Remy walk through the convention stalls hand in hand. Remy, dressed as Raven from the original DC comics, shrugs and gives Emile a wink.

"You gotta admit, this outfit shows off my lovely thighs much better~"

Emile blushes and shakes his head, squeezing Remy's hand and eyeing a Dratini plush at a Pokemon stall. "While that... is true, now we don't match at all."

"Ah, well," Remy sighs dramatically. "Maybe you'll match one of the others?"

"I'm not even dating them, but sure," Emile grumbles jokingly, and then perks up. "Where did you say we were meeting them again?"

"They should be a few stalls ahead," Remy points. "By that one booth with the pride cat plushies... Oh! There's Patton!"

The tall, broad man is dressed as Cyborg, and is animatedly waving his arms around. His cosplay is extremely well made.

Emile raises an eyebrow.

"You dressed up to match your boyfriends, but not your husband?"

Remy shushes him and drags him swiftly the rest of the way, grinning devilishly, and Emile hopes he hasn't got anything _tricky_ planned.

He lets go of Emile's hand once they're almost there and uses his momentum from running to leap up onto Patton's back. The taller's arms pinwheel, and for a moment Emile's terrified he's about to fall over, but Logan (dressed as Beast Boy) reaches to pull him back to steadiness.

"Remy," Logan says, frown stern. "Please give more warning next time, that was extremely dangerous."

"You can't just jump on people!" Emile and Patton exclaim at the same time, and then meet each other's grins and giggle.

"Good to see you, Em!" Patton says cheerfully, stooping to give him a cheek kiss. (Emile feels his face beginning to burn again.) "Rose is doing just wonderful. Your outfit looks fantastic, by the way!"

"Thanks for the update," Emile chuckles. "And you do too! Logan helped get all of the details in order, I'm guessing? Your outfits look even better than the last time I saw them in Roman's workshop."

"He did!" Patton grins. "And it fits perfectly!"

Emile tries not to look too much like he's checking Patton out. _I do see that._

"You did great, Lo," Emile murmurs.

"Why thank you," Logan replies. "But I could not have gotten any of it done without Roman."

"Speaking of which, where are Roman, Janus, and Virgil?" Remy asks from Patton's shoulders. "I wanna see their outfits! Janus's one of the villains and Virgil's Robin, right?"

"Does that mean Roman's Starfire?" Emile asks, heart sinking. "Babe, you should have told me so we could match..."

Remy grins his most mischievous grin, and Emile suddenly is very afraid.

"Oh, should I have?"

A gasp sounds behind Emile, and Roman's musical voice cuts over the noise of the crowd.

"Is that an angel I spy in robes of plaid and jeans of blue, fallen from heaven to land in my arms~?"

Emile turns around, and his jaw drops.

Roman, Janus, and Virgil have walked up to them with cotton candy in hand, and where Virgil is dressed as Robin, and Janus is Blackfire, one of the DC villains, just as the others said...

Roman's normally light brown skin has been painted a bubblegum pink, and he is dressed head to toe as the pink prince himself, handsome as can be, his deep brown eyes sparkling with mirth.

"Remy told me he would be coming as Marshal," Roman says, tugging Emile's hand up to kiss with his magenta-painted lips. "But I certainly am not disappointed by this turn of events..."

Emile squeaks.

Roman chuckles at the noise and offers Emile his arm, which he takes tremulously, trying not to seem too eager but at the same time _all too eager_ to be arm in arm with Roman. All doubts about Remy's integrity have flown out of his mind, chased out by the feeling of Roman's arm wrapped around his, their sides brushing as if they were on a real date.

... He really needs to get himself together… He can't let himself be blinded by attraction like Retsuko was for Resasuke! He has to keep his head!

Though if his Haida supports it...

Emile glances at Remy, who gives him a smirk and a thumbs-up, and reddens even further.

He supposes he can get lost in Roman's charming demeanor _this_ time.

He coughs and leans into Roman's hold, trying not to stare too hard at his (plump, kissable) lips. "Where should we go first?"

"There's gonna be some Q and A with SU cosplayers!" Patton offers, beaming, and Roman nods, grinning at Emile.

"Would you like to go check that out, darling?"

Emile knows Roman flirts with just about everyone, but... that doesn't stop him from melting into Roman's arms like he's never known love before.

"Yes, please."

(And even if he can't focus on the Q and A because of how warm Roman's arm is around him... Emile thinks it was a pretty wonderful convention.)

. . .

3

Emile hums as he finishes typing up his notes from the last patient, grinning at the little kittens she had drawn on his clipboard paper while he had been getting her a water bottle. The enby was one of his favorites, always sunny despite the intrusive thoughts that plagued her, and he was glad she was feeling comfortable enough around him to share her fear as well as cheer. Even superheroes have their bad days, after all... It was good that Whitney was beginning to recognize that.

He closes his laptop with a pleased sigh and leans back to stre-e-etch in his chair, yawning. He oughta take a nap before the next patient gets here!

"Oh! Hey, Em... Uh... You might wanna, ah, pull your shirt down..."

Emile's eyes snap open and he sits up from his stretch quick as a flash, cheeks burning as he tucks his shirt back in. "H-hey, Pattycakes! Do you how do??"

Patton, in the doorway, is just as red, if not more.

"Uh- I brought you a little something," he chuckles awkwardly, stepping into the office.

"Yeah?" Emile says, just as awkwardly, but he smiles shyly all the same. "That's sweet of you, Pat, as sweet as Dawn's Piplup was on Meloetta. You didn't have to bring little ol' me something to come visit!"

Patton giggles and takes a seat on the couch. "I know that, Emmie! But I like bringing my loved ones things, it makes me feel good to make you feel good."

Emile resists the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl upon being called Patton's loved one. He's a sweet guy, unafraid to be open about his love for his friends, so it's nothing to be over the moon about. (Though he _feels_ like being so…)

"Oh! Here's the thing, by the way," Patton says, and offers Emile a little paper gift bag covered in rainbow polka dots.

Emile gasps. "Oh, it's so little and cute!!"

"Right?!" Patton replies, eyes alight. "These tiny gift bags are so precious, I just knew you'd like it- um, the real present's inside, though."

"Oh, I knew that," Emile assures, chuckling a little. "But thank you for clarifying. I'll have to find a use for this bag. Maybe I can make it into a pencil holder, I've been meaning to get a new one for a while."

Patton pinkens and nods. "That sounds like a good idea!"

Emile takes out the baby blue wrapping paper - it matches his tie color, did Patton know Thursdays were his blue days? - and lifts up the bag, carefully shuffling the contents out into his palm.

A demiromantic kitten pin falls out first, and then a pair of Punchy the Animal Crossing villager earrings, and lastly a letter with the words _To Emile_ written in looped lettering on the outside.

"Oh, Patton, these are perfect," Emile gushes, immediately pulling up his pin-covered bag and sticking the pride pin on in an empty spot, adding a rubber earring backing on the clip to ensure it doesn't fall off. "This is so precious, oh my word- and _these earrings, Patty!_ I mean we've been friends in Pocket Camp but I didn't know you had seen Punchy was my favorite!"

"I saw that you had the Valentine's gift from him in your camper," Patton admits. "I thought it was real sweet- did you know he's trans? Cause he's calico and all."

"I didn't realize," Emile gasps. _"I love him even more now."_

He takes out his simple black studs and switches them out for the Punchy ones, making sure the backings are on perfectly before dropping his studs into the bag in turn.

Patton brightens even more and nudges the letter forward. "You should read this- it's from Rose. She misses you lots, though I promise she's perfectly fine, nice and clean and soft after Janus washed and Roman re-fluffed her again."

"Oh??"

Emile eagerly unfolds the letter and begins.

_Dear Emmie,_

(And the i is dotted with a heart!! So adorable.)

_Patton is healthy again, after Virgil and I cuddled him back to health! I wanna come back, but Janus keeps making excuses to keep me here like the Disney villain he is at heart. He even refuses to admit it's because he likes how soft I am, claiming that it's part of a plot to get more kisses from Remy or something._

( _That is so cute,_ Emile thinks, grinning at the image of Janus hugging Rose close.)

_So I am writing this letter so you don't get too worried about me. I'll be back as soon as I can!_

_Love,_

_Rose_

Emile looks back up at Patton, beaming.

"Patty-cake, thank you so much for bringing me this note to update me! I'm glad she helped you- and I'm glad to hear that Jan's enjoying her company, haha!"

Patton giggles some more. "You should have seen his face when I suggested bringing her back to you today."

They chuckle a bit more, and Emile pauses to take a drink of water, gazing at Patton as his friend calms down.

He's... beautiful.

Emile feels his cheeks warming again. Thoughtful, wonderful Patton, full of whimsy and hidden cleverness and oh-so-sweet. Cheeks rosy as he breathes the last of his giggles, running a hand over his tight curls, eyes full of happiness…

What Emile wouldn't give to call him his.

"Well, I suppose I better get going," Patton sighs, checking his watch. "I have a half-shift at the daycare today so I gotta be there in a half an hour. It was nice chatting with you, honey."

Emile's heart skips a beat, and he smiles shakily at Patton, feeling as if he's about to swoon.

"Ha-ave a good day, Pat, hope the little'uns don't give you too hard a time!"

Patton gives him one last sweet smile as he stands and heads out the door. "Bye-bye, Emmie!"

"Buh-bye!" Emile calls back, standing up with half a mind to follow. As soon as he hears the outside door swing shut, though, he's collapsing back onto his chair, burning up.

"He called me honey," he whispers near-reverently.

(He's now come close to fainting of happiness in this office twice. Hopefully it doesn't become a regular thing.)

. . .

4

"Mmm, come on, don't leave me all alone, Rem... Can't you spare your _favorite_ lover a few more kisses~?"

A giggle. "Oh, would that I could, silver-tongue, but I gotta go call my maw. I promised her I would. But I'll be back soon, sweets~"

Warmth, curling around him like sunlight. The first voice sounds closer now. "I _suppose_ if you must mistreat me so, I'll have to steal your husband all for myself, hmm? What a shame... For _you."_

"Oh, honey, trust me, he's all yours. Maybe you can pull a Sleeping Beauty on him?"

"Don't remind me of that story, lover, Virgil and I have dissected it enough... But I'll consider the proposal."

Giggling, and then the door creaks open.

Emile slowly wakes up from his nap to the sound of flirtatious laughter, and drowsily wonders why one of the voices is lower than his sweetheart's usual boisterous tone.

"Have fun, my tempting serpent~" his love calls once more, and then footsteps tromp down the hall.

_Serpent...?_

"Ha, we'll see," the warmth along his back and on his side rumbles. "I'm not sure Eve will take the apple this time, either. Shy little thing."

... Emile knows only two people who talk like that, and he _knows_ Remy wouldn't let Roman's twin into the house.

Which means Janus is in his bed.

 _Spooning_ him.

Emile is going to combust.

He tries to steady his breathing back to sleep, but Janus chuckles lowly and brushes a lock of hair behind Emile's ear for him and his grip around Emile's waist tightens.

"I know you're awake, Emile."

"Uh... do you?" Emile replies, voice somehow not coming out as a squeak. Janus laughs more, his voice rich and absolutely gorgeous.

"Well, now I'm unsure," he teases, voice low, hand on Emile's waist moving to take the shorter's hand in it instead. "Perhaps you ought to tell me if you're awake, just so I am certain."

Emile stares at their entwined hands with wide eyes despite the blurriness, colors meshing into each other in the middle like a sunset's fade, warm and lovely and... _wowzers_ is it stuffy in here or is it just him??

"I... I'm awake," he manages.

"Good," Janus purrs. "I suppose you'll be needing your glasses, hmm?"

He slides them onto Emile's face carefully, and their hands come into sharp focus before his eyes.

Emile swallows, throat dry, and squeezes Janus's hand in a 'hello.'

Janus had been the second one of the polycule Emile had met, as Remy had introduced Logan to him to get full dating consent first. He'd thought Logan was cute at the time, and of course plenty sweet... But Janus was notable for being the first member that Emile had been attracted to.

They had met a few days later, as Emile had been dropping Remy off at the bakery he and Logan were going on a date to, and it had turned out one of Logan's boyfriends had had the same idea. Emile still remembers just how his jaw had dropped as the pair rode up- Logan was handsome, and all, of course-

But Janus was hot as hellfire, and the way he smirked assured everyone who looked at him that he _knew it._

He had been wearing a black and yellow tank top and ripped jeans, and Emile hadn't quite been able to tear his gaze away from Jan's biceps.

That was where the trouble had started, really - Emile hadn't been able to get Janus (and soon Logan) out of his mind, and then he had met the rest of them, gotten to know them all, and it had all gone downhill from there.

"Emile," Janus's voice purrs into his ear, breaking through his thoughts and making Emile gasp from the suddenness of it. "Earth to Emile, darling, while you are far more fun to cuddle with than simply Rose... are you listening to me?"

  
"I--"

His whole body is alight everywhere they touch, his mind short-circuiting as he tries to process Janus's tone and the fact that he has just called him _darling,_ oh _bother--_

Then the touch is gone, and Janus is clambering over him and sliding to the floor before him to cradle Emile's face in his hands, eyes sparkling with mischief and a hint of worry.

"Are you alright, Emile?" he murmurs softly, observing him (and those eyes on him so intently makes Emile's heart skip a beat). "You're so tense, and you're burning up."

Janus's lips quirk up. _"Surely_ it's not a fever, hmm? I couldn't _possibly_ imagine anything else that would have made you quite so prettily flushed..."

Emile actually does squeak this time, burying his face in his now-free hands and trying to calm his racing heart. Janus was smoother than Monster High's visitor Valentine himself, and three times as devious. Could it be that he knew what he was doing to Emile?

He peeks out between his fingers, and Janus grins that heart-throb grin that ties Emile's insides in knots.

"Hello again, Emile. Good to see you, you've been gone so very long. I missed you~"

Emile opens his mouth to reply, when-

"Oh, babe, I _know_ you missed me," Remy announces, striding into the room with a smile on his face and a coffee in his hand. "So did... you..."

As soon as he had heard Remy's voice, Emile had scrambled to the other side of the bed, ears burning. He glances back at Janus to see the other giving Remy a rather harsh raised eyebrow and winces.

Perhaps he really didn't know.

"Whoops," Remy says, sounding sheepish.

Janus hisses.

(But even if he didn't... the time they had spent together still sends butterflies fluttering around in his belly.)

. . .

5

Emile glances over his grocery list once more as he scurries down the aisle, hardly looking where he's putting his feet. Remy wanted an extra fancy-shmancy coffee today, and Emile had been running all over trying to find it. It wasn't at Giant, or Starbucks, or so many other places, and Emile was running out of time till nightfall, and places to look--

He slams against a solid object that appears in his way and falls to the ground, glasses flying off his face in the impact.

"Oof!!"

He blinks, vision blurred once more, and looks around frantically, quoting Velma's wise words: "My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!"

His hands close around a black blur on the floor and he quickly puts them on with a sigh of relief.

…

... The distance is still blurry.

"What is this about?" he wonders, taking the glasses off to rub them, but when he puts them back on, they're just as blurry.

Someone coughs.

"I believe those are my glasses, Emile... apologies."

Emile immediately pinkens, and he looks to the source of the voice, already sure of who it is.

"Heya, Lolo! Sorry about that!!"

Logan blushes faintly and shakes his head, holding Emile's actual glasses out. They quickly switch. "I apologize as well. I should have looked where I was going, though admittedly I hadn't imagined that I would run into you here."

Logan makes a scrunched-up face, and Emile giggles at his expression.

"Pardon the pun."

"Aww, I always knew you loved that s- _pun_ -diferous branch of jokes!"

Logan rolls his eyes so hard Emile can feel it, making him giggle even more. "I do not, as I am completely serious. Necktie, Emile."

"How do you explain mine, then?"

"Well..." Logan hesitates. "Your profession is serious."

"You've never seen me at work, have you?" Emile teases, rising to his feet and offering Logan a hand up. Logan looks bewildered.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothin' much," Emile beams, beginning to swing his arms back and forth after helping Logan up. "But hey- fancy seeing you here, eh? I never imagined after all those times you've run through my mind that we'd end up actually doing it!"

He freezes.

_Shi... itake mushrooms._

Logan frowns once more, and Emile prepares for the worst.

"I do not like that expression much. Running through one's mind would be rather disgusting..."

"Ew!!!" Emile cries. "Logan, that's gross!!"

Logan nods. "I am glad we are in agreement."

"But why would you _say that??"_ Emile groans, running his hands over his face and subsequently rubbing the list over his cheek. He pulls it away with a grimace.

"... Anyway. Have you seen this brand of coffee? I've got all my other shopping done, but Remy made it clear he _really_ wanted to try this, and you know how pouty he gets without it."

Logan hums. "He actually sent me after coffee as well."

He reads it, and then frowns. "Strange..."

"What is it?"

"... It appears to be the same type that he sent me for."

The pair stand in silence for a few moments.

_Oh, that man's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a week for this one._

Emile sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair. "You know what, I can take care of it, Lo. I'm sure Remy's just sent us on a wild goose chase."

"How are you so sure?" Logan asks confusedly. Emile winces.

"Trust me, he's been trying to pull stuff like this for almost a month now. If it's real, I'll find it for him, alright? Don't worry about looking for it anymore."

Logan opens his mouth, and then closes it, and then opens it once more.

"Does he believe you have a romantic attraction for myself and my lovers?"

Emile nearly chokes.

"Wha-wuh- nOOoO Of course nOT!" Emile splutters, heart racing a mile a minute. "Uuuhhhh I'm sure it's something completely different, because if I did he'd definitely not force me into awkward situations with you guys like some fanfic writer forcing their OTP into a locked closet or anything!!! He's better than that!!"

"... Forgive me for saying so about your husband, but he strikes me as exactly the type to meddle, as he has done so even within the polycule," Logan says dryly.

Emile's face feels aflame. "Maybe so but he wouldn't do it to me for my crushes!!"

Logan's lips twitch.

"Actually. He has been going on for quite a while about how he needs to take advantage of your development of romantic feelings for others - I and my loves, specifically - to, and I quote, 'get all y'all bitches together so Emmie doesn't feel left out and I don't have to describe kissing y'all to him because he will know the truth of how good your lips are first-hand,' end quote."

"... Did he," Emile manages. 

Logan's mouth curves fully into a near-smirk now, and he takes Emile's wrist in his hand, pressing his pointer and middle finger to Emile's pulsepoint.

"Accelerated heartbeat, blood flowing in extreme levels to your facial features, several flustered phrases, and eyes darting to my lips almost as much as Roman's do during ordinary conversation..."

He chuckles and places the list back in Emile's held hand, and releases it. "Well, this is quite the opposite of the lack of evidence I expected. Perhaps I should put a bit more trust in Remy's ideas about romantic endeavors next time."

Logan pauses, and then shakes his head. "Then again, last time that led to the ruin of the polycule's laser-tag date, so perhaps I shall remain skeptical for the future."

He digs in his pocket and pulls out a bag of coffee grounds - the type Remy had written on the lists - and hands it to Emile, who is still having trouble finding words.

"You..."

"I believe your husband will want this," Logan says, smiling in a _very_ self-satisfied manner, more so than Emile had ever thought he would hear from the more serious man. "Do have a good day, alright, Emile? I'm off to relay this new information to the others. And you may want to close your mouth... you may, what is the expression- 'catch flies'?"

And he saunters out of the aisle, radiating pleasure, smug as a cat that got the cream.

........ _Cupid really is as wicked as Rick Riordan describes him, huh?_

(Emile heads home in the dark, hands Remy the coffee, opens his mouth to banish Remy to the couch, and instead begs his wonderful, perfect, _evil_ husband to kiss him like they've never kissed before.)

. . .

+1

"Mmmm..."

Emile stirs, trying to hold on to the last wisps of sleep that cling to his mind, and sighs into his pillow. He can feel Remy lying against his back and grins to himself. Last night had found him in a particularly _saucy_ mood, and they had spent a fair amount of time leisurely making out before Remy had started falling asleep against him.

But perhaps this morning...

Emile rolls to his other side, eyes still shut in drowsiness, and wraps his arms around his beloved, pulling them close until they are pressed flush together from toe to tip. Once positioned, he leans in and begins mouthing open-mouthed kisses to his husband's neck.

"Oh, uh- good morning, Emile!!" comes a particularly shrill reply.

Emile goes perfectly still, mouth still pressed against the person's neck.

_That's not Remy._

Emile's eyes fly open and he shoots up, scrambling out of bed. His bedmate lets out a tiny shriek and Emile realizes he's in nothing but a pair of his favorite Spider-Man themed boxers and replies in kind, crossing his arms in front of himself to try and regain his modesty.

"What the fuck...?"

A _second_ bedmate lifts their head up, and Emile dies a little inside upon realizing that that blurry form is Remy.

He woke up and began kissing up _Patton._

"Sorry, Rem!!" Patton giggles nervously, voice still shrill. "Did you know Emile's near _nude?!!!!"_

"I'm not naked!!" Emile protests, cheeks heating even further. "I'm in boxers!!!"

"Emile's in boxers?" a very interested-sounding voice chimes in, and Janus leans in from the master bathroom door with toothbrush in hand, eyeing Emile up and down. "Nice."

"Janus!!" Patton and Emile shout in chorus, and his crush smirks.

"Would you censor me? I have a right to say the truth _sometimes,_ you know."

"Emile's not in clothes, no," Remy mumbles, obviously still half-asleep in Patton's arms, and lets out a snore, snuggling closer to an also-asleep third blurry bedmate.

"If only," Patton manages to mumble at the same time Janus utters it aloud.

Emile lets out a strangled gurgle instead of the words he had been aiming for.

"What is _happening???"_ He finally manages, and Remy snorts so loud a _fourth_ blurry form jerks awake.

"... Good morning," Logan states, somehow lucid despite having just been startled to the waking world. "I was not aware that they made comic-based boxer briefs in your size. I would have assumed them to be a children’s item."

"Wow, Logan, that's like, two entire insults in society's eyes in one, good going," Janus snarks.

Logan frowns. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Just drop it," Emile manages, still trying to cover himself and failing. "Why are you all here??? Why are you all in my _bed?????"_

"I'm glad you asked!"

Roman saunters in from the hallway, beaming, in simply a housecoat with a towel atop his head, holding a paper coffee cup in one perfectly-manicured hand and a muffin in the other. (Upon smelling the coffee, Remy's assumed-asleep form blearily rises up, stumbles out of bed, tosses Emile his glasses case, and tries to take the drink for himself like a coffee-addicted zombie.)

"You see," Roman says chipperly, taking a sip of his drink before passing it off to Remy, who begins downing it at incredible rates despite its heat, "Your husband invited us all over last night for a cuddle extravaganza! We rode over to defeat the evil of night terrors with the power of true love, all for you, my dear~"

Emile, glasses now on, gawks.

"You- true love??- _what?!!?"_

Roman smiles indulgently and crosses over to Emile (who tries very hard not to stare at those beautifully long legs and fails drastically), taking his hand into his own and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it, smirking.

"Logan managed to find out that Remy had not been lying about our feelings for you being requited, my dear," he croons. "And so we accepted Remy's invitation for us to come and snuggle with you... And of course Rose came as well. Snuggling with a bear that smells of you has been fantastic, love, but... we'd much prefer loving on the one we adore himself, hmm?"

Emile is sure his eyes look like they're going to bug out of his sockets, and he tries to gather himself, to suppress the redness in his face, but cannot quite manage it and remains just as scattered as before.

"You... adore me?"

"Damn, Emile, it took that much for you to get it???" Remy says, smacking his lips appreciatively as he finishes off the drink. Emile flushes further.

"Well, you aren't exactly the most trustworthy person for romantic advice, and--"

"Oh come on gurl they were ALL OVER YOU--"

"Boys, boys, you're both pretty," Janus says, sauntering over to the pair, breath minty fresh from toothbrushing and twice as sweet (no, Emile wasn't leaning in and hoping for kisses, what?), and he smirks at Remy. "Moving onto the more pressing matter at hand... does this mean we can kiss your husband, now?"

"If it had been my decision," Remy burps, tossing the empty coffee cup haphazardly at the trash can, "Y'all'd've been making out a long time ago. My blessing is bestowed ten times over, bitch, it ain't me you gotta ask!"

Janus turns his gaze to Emile, smirk turning into a smile that's a little too bright to be played off as suave.

"I suppose that's true," he says softly. "So... may I?"

Emile breathes in a great shuddering gasp, steps forward, steps back... and nods.

Janus is immediately at his side, arm curving around Emile's waist as if they're spooning again, and tilts Emile's head lightly by the chin to face his.

"Are you sure?" he sibilates, eyes lidded, full of emotions humans have yet to put a proper name to, that make Emile feel dizzy and full of warmth in Janus's arms.

"I've been sure for _ages,"_ he finally admits, eyes fluttering shut, and leans in to close the gap. Janus's lips are soft with chapstick and easily sink into the kiss, charming Emile in until they're pressed against each other just as he has longed for for ages. His new love's mouth opens into the kiss invitingly, and Emile lets out a soft noise and deepens it easily - who is he, to refuse such a long-awaited invitation? Their tongues slide against each other in eager harmony, and only when Emile feels his lungs beginning to burn does he draw back with a little sigh and finally breathe.

"My," Janus whispers, arms tight and secure around Emile, and Emile practically melts at the adoration in his tone.

"My, my, what a fool I was not to attempt that before," Janus finishes.

"I could say the same for myself," Emile whispers, starry-eyed.

"Beautiful," Roman sighs dreamily, and Emile jumps a little upon realizing that the taller had moved up beside them while they were lost in each other. "That looked for all the world to be a kiss that rivals Wesley and Buttercup's act of true love."

Emile's cheeks heat.

"I am lucky to be able to have so many I can share such kisses with," he says before he can lose his nerve, and upon seeing how Roman positively beams, he knows it was the right thing to say.

"Then may I partake in those lips divine~?"

"Absolutely," Emile says. "You don't even have to ask."

Roman kisses him then, still in Janus's grasp, and it's as if he is kissing love itself. Roman cradles his face in his hands tenderly, sweetly, as if Emile is the most precious thing he has ever known, lips moving together, soft and slow.

When they draw apart, Emile realizes he had begun to tear up.

"Oh, my love," Roman murmurs tenderly, brushing them away. "You deserve every happiness."

Emile glances towards the bed briefly and lets out a startled giggle upon seeing Remy eagerly tugging up the other three, who are reluctantly leaving the warmth of the bed due to his husband's insistence. Logan is the first to exit the covers, shivering slightly in the cooler air but tugging the edges of his starry blue pajamas straight and braving the chill to cross the room to join the other trio.

"The boxers still perplex me," he says, before his expression softens. "But. I am glad to have you, despite our differing tastes in undergarments and otherwise. You are... radiant, Emile. In your enthusiasm for the things and the people you love, and in your appearance. You said we do not need to ask, however--"

He's cut off from his question by Emile flinging himself into his arms, nearly crying again with how much Logan makes him _feel,_ and sealing their lips in a kiss. As their mouths meld together, Logan's arms come to wrap around Emile's shoulders, and they sink into each other’s arms, their embrace tender and sweet and full of the love Logan shows only to his loved ones.

 _His loved ones._ And Emile is one of them now.

He breaks away for a breath and dives back in before anyone can separate them, holding Logan tight.

Roman, behind him, lets out a whine. "Why does _Logan_ get a second kiss and not me??"

"Stop being greedy!" Remy chastises over Janus's chuckling. "Patton and Virgil are waiting, too- although apparently not eagerly so maybe they don't deserve my man's smooches."

"I'm eager!!" Patton protests. Emile breaks the kiss to gasp in a few deep breaths, and peers over Logan's shoulder to look at him. Patton is scrunched over on the edge of the bed, wrapped in one of the many blankets there. "It's just so cold..."

"And _I_ just faced a _very_ rude awakening," Virgil's voice comes, grumpy and rough from sleep, and he shifts to sit up, groaning. "Why the fuck did you jump on me, you jerk??"

"Emile is in desperate need of your lovin'," Remy says bluntly. "Get up and make out with him, weak bitch."

"I don't want to kiss anyone after what you put me through, and stop trying to force Emile to kiss us!!"

Emile winces and steps out of Logan's arms, going to the side of the bed. "Sweetie... Virgil needs the sleep. You shouldn't have woken him up just to--"

He reddens. _Virgil didn't hear all of the confessing…_

Coughing, Emile shuffles away from the bed. "Uh, just to talk with us. Really, it wasn't that important."

"You finally realizing your crushes like you back and kissing them _isn't_ important??" Remy shoots back, eyebrow raised. Virgil's eyes widen.

"Wait- _oh._ Emile, you..."

"He figured it out," Janus chuckles. "With a little help, of course, and that mix-up near the beginning I overheard- I believe he began kissing Patton before he had woken fully? Truly, those reactions were entertaining..."

Virgil runs a hand through his braids, obviously flustered, and not just by Emile’s appearance. _"Oh."_

Emile feels as if he's going to die of embarrassment all over again. "Sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing, Emile?" Virgil asks, incredulous, and he gives Emile a small, crooked smile. "That's... fantastic. I can't tell you how long I've been hoping that we could get together, not to mention worrying about what it might take..."

"I believe you began pining about, oh... two months ago, at least aloud, though I'd imagine you had spent much time worrying about having the crush itself before that," Logan replies, and Virgil groans, covering his face with his hands.

"Thank you, Logan, I _definitely_ needed Emile to hear the history of my crush," he snarks.

Emile giggles, hope and happiness rising like bubbles in his chest.

"Perhaps it wasn't your ideal," he says shyly, "but it... helps, to hear that you have felt the same way for me for a long while."

Virgil looks even more flustered now, but nods.

"That's- that's good."

 _"For Zeus's sakes, just kiss him already,"_ Roman hisses, draping himself over Emile. Remy nods in affirmation.

"The goo-goo eyes have gone on too long!!"

"Wow, guys, real nice of you to ruin their moment," Janus murmurs, eyeing the pair with mild disdain.

Patton giggles. "While Jan has a point... I do think it would be adorable if you both sealed that exchange with a few kisses. Ooooo, you could do a few butterfly ones!"

Virgil laughs awkwardly, but his glance up at Emile is full of curiosity, and, well...

Who is Emile to refuse the answer?

(Or _The Answer_ \- that episode of Steven Universe always makes him cry of happiness.)

He crawls onto the bed on hands and knees, stopping beside Virgil, who picks up Rose from where she was sitting in his lap and offers it to him, still smiling shyly.

"She was very happy to come home," he says, voice soft. Emile nearly melts, raising a hand to stroke Virgil's cheek.

"I'm happy she is... are you, too?"

Emile can see the instant the implications hit Virgil, his cheek warming beneath Emile's palm and mouth dropping open.

"I- oh, uh, wow, that's kinda serious now, I mean, I'm glad to be here and I love you but--"

Perhaps it's rude, to cut two different people off twice in a row, but Emile, soft lips against Virgil's chapped, rough ones, finds he can't really bring himself to care.

 _Virgil loves him._ Virgil loves him, and Logan loves him, and Janus loves him, and Roman loves him. Patton loves him. And Remy loves him enough to have tried near-constantly to get him together with the others for months now, despite Emile's obliviousness and the others' doubt.

_I'm the luckiest man alive, aren't I?_

Virgil leans into him, their hands clasping around Rose's fur as the kiss deepens, Emile licking over Virgil's lower lip, where his snakebites would be if Virgil hadn't just woken up, and shivering as Virgil lets out a soft whine in response, dragging him closer--

He breaks away after a few moments, panting, and kisses Virgil's nose gently as he works to calm his racing pulse.

"Wow," Virgil gasps, practically starry-eyed. "If you give kisses like that every morning, I want to sleep here all the time."

Roman squawks, flopping onto the bed himself. "HEY!! I kiss you all like that nearly _every_ morning!"

"Not nearly 'every' enough," Virgil teases, but it's warm. "You could sleep here too. Kiss us both."

"... Maybe..."

"Oh, oh, oh - is it my turn now??" Patton asks eagerly, crawling up the bed in his blanket cocoon. "I mean unless you were gonna kiss Remy first, right? I just - love you so much - and I kinda really wanna kiss you because we've been best friends for a while and I've sorta wanted this for like half of that. Is that okay? I know it isn't really _proper..."_

Emile lets out a laugh, turning to face Patton fully and pulling him into an embrace, marveling at how soft Patton's touch is as they lean into each other for the last of Emile's first kisses.

"Who cares if it's proper," he replies, nuzzling their noses together. "I've wanted to kiss you for a long time, too... If it's improper, well, we can be improper together, right?"

Patton giggles, reddening, and nods in agreement, and the pair seal their lips together in an echo of their tender embrace. Patton is soft and warm, and his kisses are no different, full of adoration and eagerness. It's a little messy - a bumped tooth here, Emile's arm faltering and causing them to fall onto the bed, giggling between small kisses instead of going for air like they should have - but it's perfectly Patton, and perfectly them, and it fills Emile full of warm fuzzies from the inside out.

"Improper," Remy teases, and presses a kiss to Emile's forehead as the pair catch their breath.

Emile laughs in reply, giggles bursting from the bubbles of light and happiness in his stomach and floating out of him like a song, giddy with joy - and absolutely filled to the brim with love.

Emile is in love.

Emile is so, so in love, and he drags his husband down into a kiss.

Perhaps in a bit, once they are ready for the day, the confidence will leave him, and he'll be back to the flustered mess he has been for so long around the others, even if now their love for him is established. Perhaps Janus will tease him, and Patton will chastise Janus in turn, and Virgil will aid Roman in flirting until Emile's cheeks are rosy red. Perhaps Logan, holding hands with Remy, will lean in, and just when Emile believes he is to come to his aid he will instead press a kiss to his cheek and join in the flirtations. Perhaps Emile will flush again, and perhaps it will take him a bit for him to settle into the love he has now found is reciprocated.

Perhaps one day soon, the group will be standing at the altar to make - and in one case renew - their vows.

Perhaps.

But for the moment, Emile is relaxed. He is kissing his husband without a thought for the future, aside from wondering if heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast would be a little over the top, and if he can convince the others into kissing him a few more times - and he is happy.

(And yes - he does indeed get many, many more kisses from his new lovers that day, and in all the days to come.)

**Author's Note:**

> (Bonus points if you caught every reference I put in here!)


End file.
